DEAL WITH ANGER 3.15
Goal: To improve skills for expressing feelings
1. The student will be able to express anger appropriately.
2. The student will improve vocabulary of feeling words.
1. Stop and count to ten.
2. Think about your choices.
a. Tell the person in words why you are angry.
b. Walk away for now.
c. Do a relaxation exercise.
3. Act out your best choice. (McGinnis and Goldstein, 1988, p 140)
Definition: Dealing with your anger appropriately means to express anger assertively, with non-aggressive words rather than physical action or aggressive words.
Rationale: It is a way to help you resolve conflicts appropriately so you can maintain friendships and make decisions in a calm, rational manner. Being able to express one's anger in an appropriate way reduces anxiety in a stressful situation.
• Students may use new vocabulary words in a writing assignment. (Reith, 1985 p. 13-16)
For a child who directs anger toward himself/herself, additional choices may need to be included. Such choices may include: "Write about how you feel" or "Decide how you can change to keep this from happening again." (McGinnis and Goldstein, 1980 p. 140)
• Brainstorm situations in which students feel that they are most likely to become angry immediately and react in ways that get them into trouble.
• Ask why these situations provoke anger. Have students pick one situation to discuss with partner.
• Discuss short and long term consequences of losing your temper.
• Discuss how your body feels when you're angry and the consequences of acting out anger.
• Discuss the importance of allowing oneself time to cool off and think. (McGinnis and Goldstein, 1980 p. 140)
• Discuss alternatives to acting out anger (exercise, talking, relaxation).
• How do you feel when you're angry? Discuss body cues.
• Discuss what makes you feel angry - triggers.
Model/Role-play with Feedback
• Exercise on systematic relaxation and visualization. (Gajewski and Mayo, 1989 p. 223)
• "I" statements. (Gajewski and Mayo, 1989 p. 224)
• Video: positive and negative examples. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 91 Accepts)
Role Play Situations:
• You don't think the teacher has been fair to you.
• You are angry at yourself for forgetting your homework.
• You are having a day where everything seems to go wrong.
• Your parents won't let you have a friend over.
• Your parents won't let you leave the house.
• A friend talks about you behind your back. (McGinnis and Goldstein, 1980 p. 140)
• You have worked very hard on a woodworking project. One of your friends is looking at it, drops a part of it, and damages it. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-68 Access) .
• Someone runs by your locker in a hurry and grabs something out of it while you are standing there. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-68 Access)
• You are going to meet some friends for a movie. Your younger brother/sister complains that he/she has nothing to do. Your parents suggest that you take him/her along with you. When you refuse, your parents order you to take him/her. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-68 Access)
• Another kid at school writes something crude on your locker that is embarrassing to you, and you are angry. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-68 Access)
• Your younger brother/sister has used your personal stereo system without your permission. He/she knows he/she isn't supposed to. (Walker and et al, 1988, p. 66-68 Access)
• Another student is teasing you constantly during your gym class.
(Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-68 Access)
• You see a friend in the hall between classes. She's with another group of kids, and when you say "Hi" she clearly ignores you. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-68 Access)
• A girl/boy you have been dating steadily goes out with another person. You are angry that she/he did not tell you in advance. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-68 Access)
• You hear that another kid at school has been spreading some bad rumors about you. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-69 Access)
• You and a friend are waiting in a long line at the movie theater. Just as you get to the ticket window two older and bigger kids say "Excuse me, I'm sure you won't mind if we just slip in here and get our tickets. Thanks" You do mind. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 66-68 Access)
• You tag someone in a game and he denies it.
• Another student rides your bike without asking.
• You trip over another student's foot.
• You are playing with a friend and another person butts in. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 92 Accepts)
Application with Feedback
• Request parents to monitor skill use in the home setting.
• Students self-monitor and report back on skill use.
• Teacher should keep skill steps posted and visible. Use these to cue student when teacher observes an anger evoking situation arising.
• Teacher can keep a log of incidents where skill steps are not successfully followed. These can be used for later discussion, role-play and practice.
• Have students refer back to listing of stressful situations and indicate how they would respond/cope.
• Have students interview a friend or parent to find out what situations they find stressful, how they cope with these situations, and whether they feel their strategies are successful or unsuccessful. (Aspen Publications, 1988)
• Students list what makes them angry. Then discuss how to tell someone you're mad without hurting them. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 92 Accepts)
• Written review exercise ( Gajewski and Mayo, 1989 p. 218)
• Help evaluating anger control strategies. ( Gajewski and Mayo, 1989 p. 219-220)
• Exercise and practice anger control .( Gajewski and Mayo, 1989 p. 221-222)
• Student evaluation form. (Gajewski and Mayo, 1989, p. 345)
• Homework. ( Gajewski and Mayo, 1989 p. 202)