DEAL WITH CONTRADICTIONS 6.16
Goal: To improve conflict management skills
1. The student will be able to identify with contradictions.
2. The student will be able to ask questions to clarify contradictions.
. Decide if there is a contradiction (two opposite things at the same time).
2. If so, ask the person what was really meant.
Definition: Dealing with a contradiction is what you do when people seem to be telling you two different things or sending you two messages that seem to be opposites. A contradiction can be a message through words, actions, or body language.
Rationale: It is important to use this skill so you are not confused about what people want you to do or think. If you are confused about what people are telling you, you won't know how to act.
• Use this skill whenever a person seems to be telling you two opposite things at the same time, either with words, actions, or body language.
• Use this skill whenever two people tell you to do opposite things (2 parents, teachers, etc.).
• The teacher should act out a variety of situations in which a person's words and body language give conflicting messages. Have the students discuss these mixed messages
• Introduce such terms an mixed messages, contradictions, and body language. Apply these terms to the skill through discussion.
• Discuss that contradictions can occur when more than one person is giving directions or instructions (mom and dad helping with homework).
Model/Role-play with Feedback
Role play situations:
• Your teacher says she is glad to see you but she is frowning.
• Your teacher says you have earned a break but she keeps giving you assignments.
• A new kid smiles and seems glad to see you but always says "no" when you ask him/her to do something.
• Your parents say they are proud of your school successes but ask why you got a B instead of an A.
• Your parents say you can get a dog, but then make excuses like the time isn't right, it's too big, or too small.
• Your parents say they trust you but won't let you have friends over.
• A neighbor says, "Oh you're just old enough to be my main babysitter," but hires someone else.
• You explained long decision to your friend. Even though he looks puzzled, he says he gets it.
• Your mom says she isn't mad at you but she hasn't talked to you in three hours and won't look at you.
• Your older brother says he doesn't mind driving you to work. He is acting upset, however.
Application with Feedback
• Note home to parents describing skill and asking them to evaluate their child's use of the skill through suggested role play or informal observations. (SSSB, p. 243)
• Home checksheet for student to use when confronted with a contradictory message.