RESPOND TO PEER PRESSURE 6.10
Goal: To improve conflict management skills
1. The student will be able to predict consequences of behavior.
2. The student will be able to act on individual decision when faced with persuasion by others.
3. The student will be able to verbalize own wishes and desires.
1. Think about what others want you to do and why.
2. Decide what you want to do. (yield, resist, delay, negotiate, etc.)
3. Decide how to tell the others what you want to do.(give a reason, talk to one person, assert self, etc.)
4. Tell others what you have decided (Goldstein and et al, 1980 p. 127)
Definition: Resisting peer pressure means telling a peer nicely that you are in disagreement with what has been suggested to do.
Rationale: If you resist peer pressure, you get to do what you want and think is best. You stay in control of what you want and determine the outcome of the decision. Another good reason to resist peer pressure is to stay out of trouble. You are refusing to break rules. A third reason for resisting peer pressure is being able to say no to your friends without making them angry. Your friends will still like you.
• It will be helpful if students have learned the skills of "Being Assertive" prior to this skill "Problem Solving"
• Discuss advantages of being able to resist peer pressure.
• Discuss with the students the numerous occasions we are exposed to peer pressure. Use the following questions for discussion:
1) How does peer pressure make you feel?
2) How do you typically react to it? By going along? By resisting? Why?
3) Why do you think you react as you do?
4) What choices are you being asked to make?
• Video: positive and negative examples. (Hazel and et al, 1980 p. 83)
• Provide situations in which one or more people are pressuring another person. From these situations, have the students arrive at a definition of peer pressure through deductive reasoning.
• Have a discussion in which students suggest ways of saying "no" to various types of peer pressure.
• Have students identify situations where peer pressure could be positive.
• Discuss that there are ways to resist peer pressure without making peers angry. Brainstorm ideas.
• Review with students 6 ways to say "no".
1) Keep repeating your "no" statement - The Repeat.
2) Give another idea that you both can live with - The Compromise
3) Say something funny - The Humor
4) Say something that will put some pressure on the other person - The Offensive
5) Don't discuss it further - The Discussion Stop
6) Tell the reason why you won't - The Reason (p. 85)
• Use the skill whenever someone tells you to do something you don't think you should do.
Model/Role-play with Feedback
• Students break into small groups and practice roleplay.
• Students can compose scripts based on real life situations.
• Teacher can show pre-recorded videotapes of students performing skill both appropriately and inappropriately.
• Students complete feedback checklist, and react to roleplays which did not show use of skill steps.
• Students can brainstorm list of alternative activities they could turn to when they choose not to go along with their peer group.
Role play situations:
• Your brother wants you to take money from your mother's wallet to order a pizza.
• Your friend asks you to skip school and ride in his new car.
• A friend wants you to take someone's lunch money for him.
• Your neighbor overpays you for a lawn job and forgets to ask for the extra back; your friends want you to keep it.
• Your friends try to talk you in to using your house for a party when your parents are out of town.
• A group of kids want you to come to a party with no adult supervision which is against your family rules.
• Your friends want you to vandalize neighborhood.
• You deal with family pressure to break up friendship.
• The group is planning on taking something that belongs to someone else, and they want you to go along with them.
• A friend asks you to shoplift.
• A friend asks you to skip class/school.
• A friend asks you to use drugs.
• A friend asks you to stay out past curfew.
• A friend asks you to vandalize property.
• A friend asks you to take parent's car.
• A friend asks you to drink alcohol.
• A friend asks you to steal money from parents.
• A friend asks you to go joy riding in stolen car. (Hazel and et al, 1980 p. 84)
Situation number one: Shoplifting
Sharon, 16 years old, has just been hired as a clerk in a local record store. She had been trying to get the job for several months in order to add to the income at home and is anxious to succeed. The store's owner emphasizes over and over how important it is for Sharon to keep her eyes open for shoplifters. The owner keeps a meticulous count of the inventory and cash register receipts. In fact, Sharon only had a chance at the job because her predecessor was fired for negligence.
During the second week on the job, Sharon's best friend Lucy comes into the store. Sharon watches as Lucy slips two records under her coat. Lucy then approaches Sharon at the cash register to pay for yet another record. Sharon whispers to Lucy that she should return the two records she has stolen. Lucy responds with a wink and a snicker. How should Sharon deal with this situation?
Situation Number Two: Going With the Crowd
At summer camp, many of the teens smoke without the camp's or their parents' knowledge, even though the camp forbids smoking and will send home anyone who is caught smoking. One day, three girls are sitting behind their cabin while everyone else is inside resting. Susan, a very shy girl, sits with them, not only because she really likes the girls but also because she desperately wants to be liked and accepted by the others. The other girls start smoking and offer Susan a cigarette. Susan has never smoked before. She is afraid to break camp rules, and she really doesn't want to smoke. However, she knows these girls will laugh at her and reject her if she refuses. What should Susan do?
Situation Number Three: Cheating
Mary is taking a final exam in her English class and has prepared diligently for the test. As she turns to the second page of the exam, Ron, her boyfriend who is sitting next to her, whispers that he has studied the wrong material. He is frantic, but is sure he can get the answers from Mary.
Mary's grade in this class is very important to her, because she hopes to qualify for a substantial scholarship that is being offered by the local bank. She knows that if she is caught cheating, she will be instantly disqualified. But she also knows Ron is in danger of failing the class, and she is frightened of his reaction if she refuses to help him. Ron is easily the most popular boy in his class, and Mary spent half the year just getting him to notice her. She has no doubt that, if she doesn't help him cheat, Ron will not only drop her, but will degrade, and belittle her to the rest of the school. What should Mary do?
• When you walk into the restroom at school, you find some classmates writing "sayings" on the walls. They challenge you to do the same. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-66)
• Some friends want you to vote in the school election for a candidate that you don't think will do a good job. They contact you every day and call you at night. (Walker and et al, p. 63- 66)
• Your parents have taken a weekend flight to visit some relatives. They leave the family car with you so that you can pick them up at the airport Sunday evening. Your friends want you to use the car to "cruise" Saturday night. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-33)
• Some of your friends want you to help them play a cruel joke on a boy/girl you barely know. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-66)
• Your parents gave you their credit card to buy some clothing you need. You have gone shopping with some friends who want you to charge more than just your clothes on the credit card. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-66)
• You are at a party where several people are drinking. Your friends, including your date, are urging you to have a drink, and you do not want to be involved. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-66)
• Some of your friends have come to your house. Things are a little boring, so they start planning to play tricks on one of the teachers at school. The tricks involve using the phone at your house and using your family car. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-66)
• You have your brother's/sister's car for the evening, and your friends want you to challenge the school show-off to a drag race. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-66)
• You are out with your friends late at night. Your friends want you to join them in painting words on things in the park with spray paint. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-66)
• Some of your friends have been experimenting with drugs and are pressuring you to join them. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 63-66)
• You are at the grocery store shopping for your mother when you are approached by a gang of kids older than you. They tell you to steal some magazines for them or they will beat you up when you come out of the store. (Walker and et al, 1988 pz68-71)
Application with Feedback
• Students keep journal of incidents of resisting peer pressure.
• Students give self report to teacher.
• Have students interview each other about the use of skill and skill steps and report to class or small group. Care should be used to project confidentially of others.