STAND UP FOR A FRIEND 6.4
Goal: To improve conflict management skills
1. The student will be able to state examples of friends being mistreated.
2. The student will be able to give options for standing up for a friend.
3. The student will demonstrate assertive support for a friend.
1. Decide if your friend has not been treated fairly by others.
2. Decide if your friend wants you to stand up for him/her.
3. Decide how to stand up for your friend.
4. Stand up for your friend. (Goldstein and et al, 1980 p. 121)
Definition: Standing up for a friend is a way of giving them support when they are being criticized, teased or taken advantage of.
Rationale: It is important to stand up for a friend to let him know you care about him and to keep your friendship strong.
• Use the skill when you see a friend being mistreated.
• Discuss appropriate ways to use skill, stressing that it does not mean starting a fight, provoking, name calling, or retaliation.
• Think of and discuss times when friends have been criticized, teased, or taken advantage of. Talk about how you feel when it happens to you as well as to someone else.
• Discuss how to know if a friend wants you to stand up for him/her. Define empathy.
• Discuss how to stand up for your friend: assert his/her rights, explain, apologize. (Goldstein and et al, 1980 p. 121)
Model/Role-play with Feedback
• Classroom chart "I stood up for a friend by ..."
• Students list assertive support of friends as part of circle time or class discussion time
Role play situations:
• You tell your teacher that your friend was accused unjustly of something.
• Your parents criticize your best friend.
• You defend a friend when peers are teasing.
• A friend makes the last out in a ball game.
• Everyone makes fun of a friend who doesn't have trendy clothes or shoes.
• Your friend is teased about being "teacher's pet."
• Parent blames sibling for problem actually caused by you.
Application with Feedback
• As an extension, obtain commitments for individuals to decrease their criticism and/or mean teasing of others.
• "Secret Support" box: Class members put friend's name on a slip of paper, noting when they were supported. A drawing could be held to distribute reinforcers. (Everyone wins whose name is in box).